|
Post by Rev on Dec 2, 2004 3:51:35 GMT 1
I love the chapter LilPippin! Wow--you seem to be very good at capturing emotion in these characters. I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Hmm..between the two, I'd say Celebrian--it might be interesting to see what she thinks of all this.
|
|
|
Post by LilPippin on Dec 7, 2004 21:41:39 GMT 1
Hey thanx Rev for reviewing! Id like to announce that I am now working on the next part. I found a way to get Elrohir's POV, so that is what I am going to do. I hope the next chapter is worth the wait.
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Dec 8, 2004 0:39:26 GMT 1
*taps fingers impatiently* *giggles* J/K. I look forward to reading the enxt piece as soon as you put it out!
|
|
|
Post by LilPippin on Dec 9, 2004 22:51:50 GMT 1
Too Far Gone: Elrohir POV
When I next wake, sunlight shoots through the leaves on the trees and dances upon my face. I feel it rather than see it, for my eyes are still closed. I sigh as the rays of the sun bathe my weary soul with their light. My hand is grabbed by another. It is probably either Ada's or Elladan's.
“Elrohir, come on. Elrohir, open your eyes, my son.”<br>It is Ada then. His hand squeezes mine as I try to open my eyelids which feel like they have weights on them. I blink a few times to straighten the blurry images. Ada's face comes into focus a few moments later, his eyes sparkling with joy.
“Ada?” I manage to croak. Wow, that was painful. Note to self: Avoid speaking, it hurts my throat.
“Yes, Elrohir, it is me. You're making rapid progress, though you're not breathing as well as I would like you to,” he says.
I flash him a grin. Elladan will be so happy when Ada tells him how much I have improved. Elladan /wait./ Now that I am more aware, the previous night's events come back to me with a burning feeling of regret.
*Glorfindel rocking a limp Elladan* *Elladan's pale face* *My sense of loneliness*
“Elladan?” I cry pitifully. Ironically, that doesn't hurt my throat.
Ada's strong arms wrap around me and he picks me up. I am too weak to walk to 'Dan's bed. He sits me down on Elladan's bed, though he still holds me tight, so I can see how my brother fairs. His hair is unkempt, his face pale, his body unmoving except for a slight movement in his chest. I would have thought him dead if Ada did not place my hand on his chest so I could tell that his heart was still beating.
“What's wrong with him, Ada? I just don't understand.”<br> “My beautiful son, he was consumed by his grief. He blamed himself for your sickness and was so upset about your declining condition that he wanted to die. I suppose he is waiting for you.”
“But Ada, I am not leaving for Mandos' Halls, yet.”<br> “No, my son, you aren't.” I quickly realize now what father is saying. My brother, my twin is waiting for me to travel with him to Mandos' Halls. He will give up on me and die thinking that I never tried to save him. He is going to die, and I, the one who was supposed to die, will survive.
My spirit screams in agony. This not fair! This was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to grow up together and be there for each other always to confide in. I can't just be left here alone!
“I'm so sorry, Elrohir. He's too far gone.”<br> No, it isn't possible, it can't be possible! My brother is NOT going to die, I will NOT let him. My tears fall down onto 'Dan's face. This is going to destroy our family.
*too far gone* *too far gone* *too far gone*
|
|
|
Post by Ven on Dec 11, 2004 2:33:15 GMT 1
Awwww!!! Like all of the rest, this one is sad!!!!! The poor twins!!!!! I hope they don't die!! I'm looking forward to your next one!!!
|
|
|
Post by LilPippin on Dec 11, 2004 2:38:10 GMT 1
*raises eyebrows* Whatever you say, Ven... *evil laugh*
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Dec 21, 2004 23:03:08 GMT 1
*screams* NOOO!!! You can't kill Elladan!! You just CAN'T!!! *bawls* Wow---this has me on edge! I hope they both make it!
|
|
|
Post by duby<3 on Dec 23, 2004 22:43:39 GMT 1
awwww *cryes*... Finnaly got some time to read your story carefully
|
|
|
Post by LilPippin on Jan 15, 2005 15:15:16 GMT 1
Many Thanks Ven, Rev, and duby for reviewing! Here is the long awaited chapter 5:
Halls of Mandos: Elrohir POV
I know I can't just let Elladan die. It's not fair. He shouldn't have to die. I know there is something I can do. There has to be. My brother and I are meant to be together forever, never to be separated. All I have to do is find a way to bring him back. Come on, it not that hard, Elrohir! Think! There has to be a way!
Ada is sobbing onto my shoulder now. I have stopped crying; I am too consumed by my own thoughts to cry. There must be a way for me to call him back. What has Ada done to call back his patients from the darkness? He's used athelas, but they've already tried that, the scent is in the air. He's gone to speak with them before but- That might work! If I can only think of how Ada did it, he never taught us before. Ugh! I don't know! Well, Elladan and I have a very strong bond, if I can channel that I'm sure I can bring him back. I really can't believe I am going to try this. Ada says that inexperienced healers who try this often die. I just have to believe in myself, I know I can do this.
Alright Elladan, I am coming. I draw inside myself. My memories flash through my mind: Elladan and I as toddlers playing with our toy soldiers, us slightly older pulling a prank on Glorfindel, my first Westron language class. Everything that has happened to me flies through my head within a few seconds. When I am almost near unconsciousness and closer to my brother, I go limp. My father knows now what I have done. His voice screaming my name echoes as I fall into the darkness of death. Falling, falling....
~*~*~*~*~
My whole body feels on fire as I slowly open my eyes. It’s incredibly dark where I am, no light except for tiny candles that seem to light only a small portion of the long corridor that I am in. The candles seem to go on forever. I can't see what I am walking towards. Is this where my brother is? Is this where he has been for the past few days?
The dark hallway seems to get darker as I walk down it. The carpet is a dark shade of burgundy, but it appears black because of the lack of lighting. The walls are black from what I can tell. There seems to be a slight wind in the hallway that gives me chills all the way down to my feet.
Eventually, I begin to see a light up ahead. As I reach it, I notice that it is a bright white door. No doubt this is the unconscious and the door way leads to Mandos' Halls. Death is only a door opening away. In the corner of the end of the hallway, there is a curled figure. His head is laid upon his knees. His ebony hair is spread out, covering his face, and falling past his knees and onto the floor. He rocks back and forth. This pitiful figure is my brother. He's almost lost. "Elladan?" I whisper. He doesn't answer. It is as if he's in a trance. I kneel down next to him and lift up his chin, forcing our eyes to connect.
"Elladan?" I say again.
"Elrohir," he breathes, eyes welling up with tears, "I thought you'd never arrive." The tears took me aback. Elladan has never cried since he grew out of childhood. Not knowing what to say, I take the moments of silence hugging my brother and drying his tears. Elladan's eyes are tear-streaked, proving that it wasn't the first time he had cried.
"It feels like a millennia since I began waiting for you." he says. His voice is small. It makes him seem vulnerable, like a small child and his nightmare over the monster under his bed. We sit there for awhile, savoring the other's touch that we've been deprived of for so long. I can't help but think about how much I almost lost, how much I can still lose. My brother is the most important thing in my life, if I lose him, I don't know what I will do.
"Are we ready?" Elladan says as he pulls away from the embrace.
"Ready for what?" I ask. "To leave,” he points to the door, “to die?" This surprises me. I know that my brother wants to die, but I thought that maybe if he saw me okay and not dead from pneumonia then he might change his mind. "I didn't come here to die, Elladan. I came to bring you back.” I say finding my voice. Elladan's face falls. He obviously thought that we could just remain forever in the Halls of Mandos. I can't abandon father and mother; they'd be devastated if they lost us both. Yet I can't leave Elladan; we need each other. I help him to get up and place my hand on his shoulder. He brushes it off and walks toward the white door to my confusion.
"Elladan?" He turns around, a frown on his face.
"I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD BETRAY ME! I've waited for you for Valar knows how long and when you finally get here you expect me to go back to a world full of grief and loss" he snarls. His outburst scared me and I begin to think that I have lost the brother that I love.
"Our world, my twin, is not full of grief and loss, but hope and love if you could only see it." I say. Doubt lingers in his eyes, but anger also reflects. The fact that I am the cause of that anger terrifies me greatly.
Elladan, heedless of my pleas, opens the white door and enters. I too enter the passage way not out of curiosity, but out of fear of this place. The walls seemed to run blood and the stench from it was making me feel indisposed.
Elladan and I have entered a field of green. Flowers bloom within seconds. Trees grow tall within minutes. There seems to be no sense of time in this place, just the cycle of living things. Elves dance among the trees and a great song rises above the air and into the clouds. This place is connected wholly with the elves and nature as one: it is paradise. The wind breathes my name, calling me to the land. Like a drum it repeats and its beat soaks inside my soul. The sun shines and bathes the land in its orange light. A rainbow flitters across the sky. The roar of waves hitting rocks can be heard in the distance. This is what all elves dream of, but my heart feels empty. I am surrounded by all I have ever dreamed of, but I don't feel complete. What is it that I am missing? Elladan is left speechless as he admires the place. His eyes widen as he sees the birds wave to us from the sky. A butterfly lands upon his nose and he lets out a child's giggle.
"This is paradise, brother. Isn't it wonderful!" he says as he spins in circles. I grin at his enthusiasm. It’s great to see him happy. He's been so locked in about his emotions recently. For the first time in a long while, happiness shines in his eyes. It makes my heart smile to see him like this, but then I suddenly remember where else I have felt my heart like this: when I am around my mother and father! "This is not paradise, ‘Dan. It's missing something," his gaze falls to me questioningly. "Ada and Nana. Glorfindel and Erestor. Elladan, it's missing Imladris!" I long to be home and it shows in my stature, but Elladan is convinced that this place is home. As I look around once more, the roar of the ocean sounds threatening, the song of the elves turn dark, the voice calling my name is getting louder and my head is ready to explode within me. I can't remain here. "Elrohir, Elrohir, ELROHIR!" the repetition continues.... ~*~*~*~ "Elrohir, ELROHIR!" I groan; my head is spinning and my stomach is reeling. That is not the voice in the wind, but my father's grievous voice. I feel his hand holding onto mine and trembling in fright. His other hand is tucking a stray hair behind my ear. His touch feels exhilarating on my soul. I feel safe now, even though part of me is torn. Elladan did not return with me. I failed. "I'm sorry, Ada." I murmur. It’s still painful to speak. Ada's hand tightens around mine.
"My son," his says relieved, “I have not lost you and that gives me hope." I finally open my eyes, hoping that the light will not blind me. Surprisingly, it doesn't. I look over to Glorfindel who is still trying to revive Elladan. I look away. My brother's form is pitiful. He has lost so much weight from the coma, his arms and legs have lost most of their muscular roundness. Glorfindel looks up at Ada and I saddened. We both know now that my brother will not return to us. Glorfindel walks over to my bed and kisses my brow before wiping away his tears and whispering something to Ada. I was able to catch the words, "body… funeral... service" As Glorfindel opens the door, Ada and I look at each other's damp faces. Suddenly, a large gasp comes from the bed next to mine. A loud choking sound follows before I fall unconscious. The last thing I hear is the thunder of footsteps, running into the room.
|
|
|
Post by HadesTheHobbit on Jan 15, 2005 21:51:55 GMT 1
That is the biggest cliffhanger i have ever read in my life. If u dont add more soon i think i will die. VERY VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Hades The Hobbit
|
|
|
Post by Ven on Jan 15, 2005 22:06:16 GMT 1
I agree!!! That was wonderful, Pip!!! I love how you describe everything!! *wells up in tears* I hope you are able to post the next part soon!!
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Jan 16, 2005 1:41:34 GMT 1
Ditto!! ;D
|
|
|
Post by Aranel18 on Jan 16, 2005 23:56:35 GMT 1
OMGosh this is the best one i think of all of the chapters u sooo need to do another one.......
|
|
|
Post by Ven on Jan 17, 2005 14:41:28 GMT 1
AGH!!! Rev, I'm sorry!!!!!! I must have pushed Modify instead of Quote!!!!! *begs for mercy*
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Jan 25, 2005 13:28:56 GMT 1
Heh! Lol-- that's okay Ven!
|
|